Leapfrog your rapid rise to success

Career moves typically follow the assumption that moving forward involves stepping rung by rung up a corporate ladder. The same applies to Asking for a raise. Just one rung at a time in a logical progression. One foot in front of the other.

That’s just what people do, right?

Not always.

You can think of Asking as a way to accelerate your climb to the top. You are allowed to skip a rung. You are still doing the work and competently capable of the position, of course. You wouldn’t be considering it if that weren’t the case, because you know you don’t want to take on more than you can handle.

But, maybe you feel like it’s some kind of “cheat.” That’s just a little mental block you can let go. Leapfrogging is a different kind of effort that gets you where you want to go much faster. That’s all it is.

There is no wrong way to climb the ladder — well, if you’re an honest and ethical person there’s not. I’m not talking about being a scammer or swindler, obviously. I mean for someone who is truly qualified and deserving, you can do rung by rung. But you can do double steps. You could, in fact, even do a triple step, if your legs are long enough. Long legs mean you feel strong, courageous and talented enough to handle the leap.

You know the phrase “rules are meant to be broken”? Well, going one step at a time is just IMPLIED, it’s not even a real rule. You can use asking and skipping ahead as a success strategy.

Nobody said you couldn’t. The worst that can happen is you get told “NO,” and even then, people now know you are very serious about success. You’ve just positioned yourself as a power player, out to win and confident in your capabilities. Having established that is already a leapfrog strategy, because most people do not have the resilience and backbone to attempt this move in the first place.

Do you?

Inquiry: What are your assumptions about skipping a rung?

Imagine what can happen for you once you start implementing these strategies…

It becomes addictive because you’re connected to your own power and confidence. Your life can improve like you wouldn’t believe!

This is why clients love paying me for my expertise. But you don’t have to pay me to get started. I’ve made “5 Tips To Ignite The Power of Asking In Your Life Right Now” just for you, so you can break free and start asking big today.

How to Ask without the awkward

Do you know what’s the worst? The moment right before you make an Ask — and also the moment right after a conversation doesn’t go as you expected. So today I’m sharing 3 of the most awkward moments for me as an auctioneer and what you can do about each, if they are awkward for you, too.

1. No rapport

You have your script ready and a whole plan laid out. That’s great.

However, you also need to acknowledge what’s going on in the room. How do you connect if there’s not any connection initially? You want to get connected really fast.

Use one simple observation or joke around a shared topic or celebration or even an embarrassment that can be light and fun to shine a spotlight on. The moment you do that, it snaps you into a more connected state. From that place of connection, awkwardness disappears.

2. No credibility

When I step on stage for auctioneering, I’m frequently making a financial Ask of a room full of strangers who have no idea who I am. The solution is to borrow status. How I do this is by asking the executive director or a board member to introduce me, which lends me credibility from them. Then, I’m making my Asks from a stronger stance.

In your case, find a sponsor, mentor or somebody who understand who and what you’re looking for and can originate a potentially successful situation for you more easily. Your mentor can set up your Ask with an introduction so you can go into the Ask emboldened, without the awkwardness of a cold approach.

#3. When things go awry — ending the conversation

Having a plan can be a real lifesaver when things don’t go as desired. Not all fundraising goals are achieved. Sometimes engagement and bidding is low. The room is just a bit cold. But I don’t let the icky feeling in the room define my experience. Even if we didn’t quite align, I’m still sharing my final words to close out the interaction. For concluding an evening of auctioneering, I may say:

“Thank you all for coming and letting me stand on this stage. I’m glad to help you give the way you did. You all did an amazing job. The bar is open.”

Mic drop. Exit stage.

Plan your last words so the end of a conversation doesn’t feel as awkward. If you need help crafting your “last words speech,” reach out to me on Instagram and maybe I will use your question as my next topic for IGTV.

Want more help this very minute? Get “5 Tips to Ignite the Power of Asking In Your Life Right Now.” You’ll also be the first to know of any special promotions, trainings or giveaways I’m doing. I’ve got some exciting stuff in the pipeline. Don’t miss out!

"You get in life what you have the courage to ask for."

— Oprah Winfrey

3 reasons you aren’t asking big enough

We plan our asks and wring our hands and finally go for it. And when we do, it’s usually an Ask that’s only scratching the surface of what’s possible. You may be leaving money on the table. Or missing opportunities. All because you feel nervous and define your Asks based on a few bad assumptions. Let’s talk about it.

1. You’re afraid of getting the NO. Fear is the biggest blocker to asking big that I’ve seen in my career. It’s because we load the NO full of all kinds of commentary about our worth. Truly, getting a NO can mean so many things that aren’t necessarily anything about you. Maybe your values don’t align. Maybe they just aren’t the right client or investor or employer. It could be that they flat out don’t have the money.

Every time you get a NO, you’re actually getting valuable information. Stop fearing the NO. Stop loading the Ask with meaning about who you are.

Aim for the NO to guarantee you don’t leave money or opportunity on the table. You’re not gonna die if you get a NO. Other opportunities, companies and people are out there!

2. You think you’ll walk away with nothing. Your first Ask may receive a NO. You think that’s the end of it? In most cases, this is a false assumption.

If you’re prepared with an alternative offer that would still please you as a second Ask, the conversation often continues. This is an auctioneering technique that you can draw from in your negotiations. Sometimes in an auction I start high and get no bids. I drop it down. I get no bids. I drop it down again and pretty soon I’ve got paddles in the air and end up blasting beyond the “high” bid I initially offered. Now, you aren’t in a competitive bidding situation so it may not happen like that for you, but the point is to plan your responses to a No. Don’t go in with only one offer.

3. You think that freaked out feeling means danger. When you’re considering a big Ask, getting freaked out, nervous or nauseated is normal. It’s not a sign something is wrong. It’s a sign something is very right! In fact, you are right in the midst of the land of opportunity, so stop seeing a danger sign and start seeing an adventure!

Reconciling these 3 issues puts you on the fast track to using Asking as a major success strategy in your career. We’re turning those so-called weeds into beautiful flowers here.

What do you tell yourself when you ask for something that feels like a stretch?

Gift giveaway

If you’re reading my advice here, and you know you could use a bit more support before making a big Ask, I have created a free gift for you to use. You can discover my “Top 5 Tips to Ignite the Power of Asking In Your Life” right now.

Plus, once you’re on my email list, you’ll get first crack at any limited special offers, including my 30-minute jumpstart coaching calls. If you’ve seen my videos, you know how much value I can cram into a few minutes. Think what I can help you accomplish in 30!

3 things about you that will help you get anything you want

Do you ever wonder what the difference is between someone who seems to be living their dream life and you?

It comes down to one thing.


That person you admire so much, who’s living the high life you wish you had? They had the guts to ask for what they really wanted. You have what it takes too, you just have to ignite it.

Chase what you want like a cheetah after an impala! Does a cheetah hesitate, waffle about and contemplate whether they are deserving? Of course not! They’d starve to death. It’s completely up to you. And let me tell you what I know about you that will help you make the strong, confident choices for your future.

1. You’re never going to ask for something you can’t handle or don’t deserve.

In my 20 years of coaching conversations, I can’t recall a single instance where a woman asked for something:

  • she couldn’t handle

  • she hadn’t earned

  • completely unrealistic

Therefore, the Asks you will make will never be too big. If you’re thinking it, it’s probably already in alignment for you.

2. You know when it’s the right time to make an Ask that matters to you in your career.

As a coach I’m not telling you what you should do. I’m asking if you are ready to ask for something. You know what the when is. You’re going to intuitively make the Asks that matter WHEN they matter.

3. You have everything you need when it’s time to Ask.

I trust you. As a co-active coach, I know you have all it takes within you. You are naturally creative, resourceful and whole. You’re completely capable of crafting a bold Ask for yourself to get what you want. As your coach, I don’t necessarily have answers, but I can develop your own capacity to come up with answers for yourself.

Now that we’ve covered the 3 things about you, let me tell you 3 things I want for you:

1. When it’s time to make an Ask, Ask big enough to honor your work, mission, goals and potential.

Ask big enough to support, reinforce and honor who you are!

2. Use the capacity to know when it’s time to Ask to scan the full scope of your career.

Are there other areas that may be improved with Asking?

3. Understand that the room is big.

If you get a NO and have to walk away because values collide, realize that there are so many other opportunities. If you know that deep within yourself, you can carry the confidence to make your Asks powerfully.

Let’s end the deep, dark secret within women’s world of Asking. We all seem to hide the fact that there’s a ton of hand-wringing going on behind the scenes of Asking for things that matter in our careers and businesses. It’s a universal experience of feeling uncomfortable and frequently unworthy, even though it’s usually far from the truth. Instead, let’s support each other with practical tools to identify and articulate Asks that matter. Let’s make our Asks boldly, courageously and unapologetically.

Inquiry: Is it time to Ask for something that will move me toward my goals?

Have you experienced the painful agony of nervousness and timidness around asking for what you deserve?  If so, you aren’t alone. For many of us, it’s a very scary thing to contemplate going in for a big Ask. And, while I can tell you with absolute certainty that you are deserving, you may still feel held back by your own self doubt. I get it, I really do. If you still feel pretty far away from ready to make a big Ask that’s on your mind, you may want to check this out:

My 5 tips for igniting the power of Asking in your life right now.

Imagine how your life could change if you felt empowered to stride forward boldly for what you want. Aren’t you excited for the possibilities?

How one Ask changed everything: The story of T.H.

The post you’re about to read has the potential to generate amazing results in your life, like:

  • That hefty raise you know you deserve

  • A new promotion you want

  • An incredible partnership that would be mutually beneficial

Whatever it is you are seeking, moving the needle forward is done by asking. I’m sorry, there’s no “easy button,” no tactic that lets you work around it. Sometimes you just have to do the hard stuff to get what you want. And that, dear reader, is why some people get what they want in life, while many others live in quiet desperation. Nobody is going to hand you a winning lottery ticket. You have to take charge and make your own luck.

Instead of talking more about how to do the big scary thing, I’d like to share a brilliant success story. Then you can see for yourself that this stuff really does work!

The story of T is one woman’s quest to change everything with one Ask. Doesn’t that sound exciting? Asking can do the same for you. So let me share with you the things she did to make the most powerful Ask to get herself the best yes she could possibly attain.

T was looking to make a BIG change in her life. She was employed as a lighting engineer for an architecture firm and wanted to transition into real estate. She needed more time to pursue her real estate business.

She was going to ask her employer to drop from a full-time employee to part-time independent contractor status. No biggie, right? Wrong! She was also renegotiating her pay to a significantly higher hourly rate than what she received as a full-time employee.

The stakes felt very high for T, asking for ALL THIS… What if they say no? If they say “Stay as is or go,” T would feel like her future plans were in jeopardy.

These are the perfect conditions for you to decide to shrink your Ask so small you feel assured you’ll get a yes. But it’s not the yes you want or need.

T resisted the urge to shrink her ask. She stayed strong and requested what she truly wanted. Because she remained steady, she ended up with a yes that worked for both parties.

Here’s a breakdown of what T did to pull this off:

  1. She didn’t overexplain her ask. She assumed mutual value. A mistake women often make is feeling the need to lay groundwork that is already well established. Don’t hem and haw and take the energy out of your ask. Get straight to the point.

  2. She jumped into her Zone of Freaking Out. This is a natural feeling when you are asking for something that feels very big.

  3. She mapped out the Ask in detail. This means deep-diving into the details. What am I asking? What are the terms? Hourly rate? Hours? What’s my offer to make the yes easier? What’s my reserve? What if they say no? The ask map is a 360 degree view, covering all the angles so you can feel prepared in any event.

Here’s a follow-up message from T to me after her meeting:

“I used as much of the stuff you gave me as possible. They gave me everything I asked for, even my rate. The rate I asked for was squarely in my Zone of Freaking Out. They said $5 less than what I was going to ask for, so I told them what I was actually going to ask for, and they said, ‘OK, that sounds good.’

So much for the no! I really thought I was in the no range, but it turns out I could have asked for even more. That being said, I did it and it turned out great! Your advice was a huge help. One thing you said that stayed with me is that I didn’t need to sell myself. That was so true. They already had ten years’ proven track record from me and they were so glad I wasn’t quitting.”

Congratulations to T! I’m hoping after sharing this amazing story, I will get to congratulate many more of you this week. I invite you to share your courageous asks with me on social media. I’d love it.

Inquiry: What do you need in order to make a powerful ask?

I hope you can see how this stuff I’m sharing with you really does work. And once you learn it, it becomes addictive. Your life can improve like you wouldn’t believe! This is why clients love paying me for my expertise. But you don’t have to pay thousands of dollars like my corporate clients. I’ve made Welcome to the ZOFO just for you, so you can break free and start asking big. If you need a little extra help, it’ll be just the ticket to get you on the road to your big ask.